


Mutationem

by HelaHiddles



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Maeve lives
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-11
Updated: 2016-08-11
Packaged: 2018-08-08 00:52:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7736713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HelaHiddles/pseuds/HelaHiddles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What if that fateful day has gone differently? A tiny little change that had the biggest effect ever for 2 people.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mutationem

The second Diane took the blindfold off I felt it like a stab in my chest, making it hard for me to breathe. I felt it the way you get hit by a train at 200 m/h. I saw her and I knew I loved her with all my heart. It was as if I forgot to breathe for a moment and we just held our eye contact for a moment before Diane demanded I say it. I swallowed hard, looking over at Maeve.

  
“I don’t love you, sorry,” I told her with a steady voice, trying to make it convincing but it had never been this hard to lie before, ever. Maeve nodded softly, still holding my gaze. “I understand,” she said then and I knew she meant that she understood what I was doing.. Why I was doing it.

  
Then Diane said, “I don’t need her anymore,” and I felt that stabbing in my chest again. What could I say to get us both out of this? The lies weren’t working the way they were supposed to with the way I felt. What if she didn’t believe me at all.. I had to do something.

  
“Kill her and she won’t have to live with the fact that you’re smarter.” I could hear my own voice shaking and it was so frustrating. I needed her to believe me. Thankfully Diane turned back to me, obviously hearing me out. “Let her live with her irrelevancy.” That’s when Diane cut one of Maeve’s binds off but I was too scared to be relieved just yet. This could still take a turn for the worse. Then Diane spoke again and I felt my heart pounding in my chest.

  
“I just want her to see one more thing.” Then she walked over to me with the gun and I thought maybe she was onto me, she was going to kill me, but as long as she left Maeve alone I’d be okay with that. But instead of doing that she crouched down and kissed me. I tried, I really tried to kiss her back like I meant it but she knew.. damn it! She knew.

  
“Liar.. Liar!” She aimed the gun at me, ready to shoot. I was out of ideas, out of time, and I jumped up, grabbing the gun in her hands, fighting her for it. A shot went off, hitting the ceiling, and I knew my team was bursting through the door. We struggled for what felt like hours until another shot ran off, hitting me in the arm, and I went down. No! Damn it!  
“Stay back. Stay back! Stay back!” I shouted to them and I wanted to cry when I heard Maeve calling out my name. No no no no no.. I got to my feet, holding my arm. “Stay back, stay back.” Then I turned my attention to Diane, a gun aimed at Maeve and I wanted to scream.

  
“Diane.. Diane, there’s still a way out of this.” I explained to her, needing this to end well. “You never wanted me. Never! You lied!” She shouted at me, clearly upset and ready to take action. What could I possibly say now?

  
“I didn’t. Diane, I offered you a deal and you can still take it.” I told her honestly, feeling myself shake. Please take the deal, please. “Me for her, let me take her place.” I told her because that way all I could think of to do. The only thing I could think of that she might want more. To kill me.

  
She was crying, looking at me like I had hurt her more than anybody in the world. “You would do that?” She asked me and I nodded, I couldn’t lie now. “Yes!”  
“You would kill yourself for her?” She asked and again I couldn’t lie. “Yes!”

  
Then Maeve said “Thomas Merton.” And I felt like crying again. Maeve.. This made Diane angry. “Who’s Thomas Merton!?” and all Maeve could say was “He knows.. He knows.” And of course I did but it was killing me. Why was she saying this? No.. Why was she saying goodbye? No. Diane was getting angrier, demanding to know who Thomas Merton was. Then Maeve said, “he’s the one thing you can never take from us,” and it hit me that she knew how this would end but I couldn’t let that happen. No.. Then it all happened so fast. Diane moved her gun towards her own head and I didn’t have my gun.

  
“Wait!” I cried out but a shot rang out, then another and I looked up.. what? Diane’s gun had dropped to the ground and she was on the ground but Maeve wasn’t. What? I looked back at my team in shock before rushing over and pulling Maeve into my arms before we sank to the stone floor together. Maeve was crying but I was just shaking violently, holding her close. It hit me then that I was holding her and I wrapped my arms around her tightly, burying my face in her shoulder. “You’re okay, you’re okay.”

  
Morgan and Hotch checked on Diane, making absolutely certain that she was gone, and JJ called the EMT over to check on the two of us but I really didn’t want to let her go. “Spencer..” She whispered and we pulled apart, eyes meeting. She was crying and shaking and I realized I was as well when I had to blink my eyes a few times to be able to see through the blur. “Your arm..” She mumbled, pressing her hand against the wound lightly and only then did I remember that I had even gotten shot. “I’m fine. It’s okay.” I whispered but the EMT demanded I went to the hospital to sew it up and avoid infection.

  
Blake put a blanket around us before making us stand up and we headed out to the ambulance, my arm around her waist. I never wanted to let her go again. In the ambulance we had no choice but to pull apart as a woman looked over Maeve’s bruises and cuts and another woman ripped my sleave open and checked my arm, cleaning the wound. I kept my eyes on Maeve, reaching out and taking one of her hands with my free one. We didn’t need to say anything. I still couldn’t believe it was over and she was okay.. That she was here with me. I was still shaking a bit from the adrenaline, my heart pounding, but I was beginning to calm down and suddenly my arm was killing me.

  
Arriving at the hospital they had me sit in a private hospital room, sending in a doctor to sew me up and of course the conversation got onto the subject of painkillers. I became oddly jittery when Maeve wasn’t there but Morgan soon joined us and I relaxed slightly. “Please tell them I don’t want any painkillers. Where’s Maeve?”

  
Morgan chuckled, sitting down with me. “He can handle it, doc. No need to fight him.” He insisted and the doctor seemed to give in, taking out the thread and needle to sew me up without any painkillers. Finally. “She’s fine, kid. She’s with the girls, a doctor is looking her over. Relax.” Morgan instructed me sternly but I couldn’t relax. Being away from her now felt excruciating, like it had all been a dream and she was still missing.

  
After the doctor finished sewing me up, with not a lot of tears from me, he bandaged me up and sent me on my way. Morgan signed the release paper and I was free to go, at last. I walked out into the waiting room, smiling slightly when I saw Maeve there with JJ and Blake. When she saw me she sprung up quickly and ran into my arms and I wrapped my arms around her waist tightly, holding her close. “Maeve,” I sighed softly, as if just the name brought me peace of mind.. which it kind of did to be honest. She was here, she was real and she was okay. I didn’t even care that my arm hurt like hell from the act, nothing as trivial as a little physical pain would keep me from holding her now.

  
“Are you okay?” I asked her as we pulled apart and I looked her over carefully. She smiled then, the sweetest smile I had seen in my entire life, her eyes shining with a hint of amusement. “I’m okay. It’s over.. I’ll be fine.” She assured me, her voice a bit unsteady but so was mine. But we were okay and it was over.  
“I don’t want to go home.” She whispered suddenly and I looked into her eyes, taking her hands in mine. “Then don’t.. you don’t have to.” I assured her and I felt her squeezing my fingers lightly as she nodded. “Okay.” It suddenly occurred to me that we were standing in the middle of a hospital waiting room, holding onto each other’s hands as if our lives depended on it and it made me smile a bit.

  
“Okay, neither of you is in a state to drive so how about I get you over to Reid’s place for now and you can both decompress a bit.” Morgan spoke up after a while of silence and we both kind of snapped back to reality. I looked at Maeve, leaving the decision up to her. She nodded lightly with a small smile and we all walked out of the hospital.

  
Morgan drove us to my apartment, keeping the conversation light and easy on the way. There would be time to properly meet Maeve later but for now I just wanted to hold her and tell her it was all okay.. and make sure she actually was okay. It had been a frightening day and night for them both and it would take time, he knew.

  
“I don’t want to see you at work for at least a week, kid. I’ll talk to you in the morning.” And then Morgan drove off and I took Maeve’s hand in mine again, pulling the keys from my pocket. No words were needed, we just walked inside and I let her into the apartment. She seemed to noticeably relax the second she stepped inside and I closed the door, locking all three of my locks and bolts before turning to her.

  
“I..” We both started before smiling at each other. I shrugged off my FBI jacket, pulling her along to sit by the window at my chess set. Maybe not the best reference to end the night with but for some reason my love for chess felt intact. I looked up at her, fiddling with my hands the way I did when I presented a case or had a lecture. “I love you..” I spoke up then before swallowing, holding her eye contact. “I was so scared that I’d never get to tell you that.. That the last thing you’d hear me say was that I don’t love you when I truly and completely do.” I told her, my words tumbling out of my mouth but I knew Maeve was used to that. I felt my eyes grow blurry but I blinked it away, clearing my throat.

Maeve just smiled, standing up and holding her hand out to me. I took it after a moment of confusion and followed her out onto the floor. She wrapped her arms around my neck and as if an already forming habit I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her close, resting my chin on her shoulder.

  
“I love you too, Spencer. I’ve loved you for many months, there was never any doubt about that.” She mumbled to me and I sighed contently, burying my face in her neck. She loved me. The slip had been true and she loved him. The feeling was foreign and warm and he never wanted it to go away. She loved him and he loved her. Yes.. this was right.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so so much for reading and don't hesitate to tell me what you think!


End file.
